Life Update : Learn to Rest

Hi, friends! 

Been a very long time not catching up in this platform. 29 months ago, was my very last writing. Where did the time go? Where did myself go? What did she do on those time? After a not-sure-whether-it’s-long-or-short period of time, I come back here, at one of my favorite places, with some stories to tell.

Well, life is pretty good lately. For more than a year, I’ve been working in one company. Not my dream job but I’m grateful I got a chance be here. This job has opened my eyes that there are many kinds of career in this world. To be kind and to respect one another is an understatement. Never judge someone based on what they do for life because we don’t even know how hard it is for them to get that job, let alone to get the money.

Working from 8 to 5 every Monday to Friday (and sometimes Saturday), drain my energy, to be frank. But that’s what they called by adulting, isn’t it? Sucks but there’s no way back tho. So, what could we do if not just walking day by day, one step at a time, doing the best we could do.

 

Adulting makes me realize that life is about learning. And little did I know that taking some rest is also one important thing to learned. For most of my life, I’ve been told to “do” many things, but “rest”. Growing older thought me to take a rest if I need. Honestly, it was a long journey for me to understand it. I was (or am) an ambitious person. I made an exact time plan for me to achieve things. I calculated and set the fastest period of time for myself. I push myself as hard as I could to catch all my plans. I assumed that the faster I do something, the faster I reach my dream. Then, boom! Pandemic slaps me hard on my cheek. We were forced to stay at home for some time. Then, everything went slower then before. Things changed. My plans fell apart. Life seemed so hard at that time. I miss my target to graduate and have a job. The situation was full of pressures. I thought it was a waste of time just being home and doing nothing. I felt guilty every day because I can’t do anything. My dream is getting further, I thought.

 

Long story short, I eventually understand that it was a time for me, for us, to take some rest from this busy world. And what happened while we have that rest, is the most important part. I had much time to be with my family, one thing we rarely have. We did many things together, from making cloth mask to baking. I had time to read books, my old and lost hobby. I tried to write. And so on. And after that moment passed by, I realize it was totally not a waste of time. It was a time that I’m not sure whether can happen twice or not. It was a bad yet a nice moment, a blessing in disguise. And from that I learned that to have a rest doesn’t always mean to only lay back on your bed. To have a rest means to be aside from our everyday routine, to do things that refresh our mind and recharge our body.

 

And here I am right now, with a new routine as a career woman, after a tough time. I proudly checked one thing on my “timeline list”. I could say I’m living one of my dream routines right now. But guess what? This routine can also make me bored and tired sometimes. Second lesson learned. Even our dream routine could also feel boring at some point. But never forget that we always have a choice to take a rest.  Having a glass of coffee, watching the sun sets, baking some sweets, reading a book, playing in the sand, whatever it is you choose.

 

Well, I learned in the hard way. That taking some rest doesn’t make me a weak person. Taking some rest is what a human being needs to stay alive. That taking some rest doesn’t mean I give up. Instead, I don’t want to give up, that’s why I take my time to break for a moment so I could continue what I need to do afterwards.

 

These adulting things particularly is already exhausting. It’s something that has no manual book. No one can really tell us what to do, what will happen next, what is right, what is wrong. We, ourself, unfold those mysteries all alone.  Doesn’t it an enough reason to take break?

 

So, in case no one tell you, take some rest. Get your coffee and cookies. Sit down. Take a breath. You deserve it.

A pinkish sky,
a sign for you to watch the sun sets today<3

 

Catch up later! xoxo

Something Inspired of The 11th Image on Your Phone

Well, this is the eleventh image of the favorites album on my phone. This picture was taken a year ago. There are my bestfriends and I in the picture. We went to Jazz Traffic, an annual music festival in Surabaya. It was my first music festival ever. And it was Henny’s birthday at the same time. Double the happiness, double the memories.

I had no expectation at first. I wasn’t even interested to go. Going to a music festival is not something exciting for me at that time. I love to watch a music concert, but not a festival music. But someone made me buy the ticket. I supposed to go there with him. Out of a sudden he cancelled it, I don’t know why. 

I ended up went there with my bestfriends. Novia was the first person I forced to go with me. She doesn’t want to at first. But of course I won~ Several days before the day, Henny and Okta decided to go with us! It was like a remedy to my broken heart! I thought I could enjoy that two days music festival because I will be with my besties~

And I did! I enjoyed it! Really! Walking from one stage to another stage. Singing along for hours. Having much conversations as well as laughing until my stomach hurt. Writing “Say HBD Henny Please” on our phone and hoping Tulus notice us. Omg crazy little thing that make me beyond happy. It was a really good day at that time. A cure to my broken heart. A little thing that refresh my mind from a chaotic days of college.

That moment was one of the best moment with them. A moment I will always remember. A moment I love and cherish. A moment where they didn’t let me go there alone. A moment that make me believe that they truly care about me. 

To these people in this picture, I love you. I really do. Thank you for not letting me go alone. Thank you for having my back. Thank you for always trying to cheer me up. Thank you for supporting me on everything I do. Thank you for always be there. Thank you for staying with me. To forever, shall we?

Write about A Lesson You’ve Learned; Some Things Are Not Up To Us

These past months have taught me that no matter how hard we try, there’s always something we can’t control. It’s a truth to be told.

I was planning to finish my study earlier. It’s always been my dream to graduate before the fourth year. I worked so hard and tried my best on my thesis. I wrote it as fast as I could, hoping my lecturer will correct it as soon as possible. Turned out she did the correction as late as possible:) I waited for about 3 weeks. Oh, and she changed her mind. She asked me to do the first until the third chapter. But when she finally correct my work, she returned the second and third chapters. She said I should’ve do only the first chapter. She asked me to give her the chapter one by one. I really lost much time. I spent a lot of time making the proposal as she asked me in our first meeting. I lost my time waiting her correction. Double kill.

Long story short, I failed to graduate in January. A hard slaps on my face. I failed my first dream. I need one month to recover from my stress. I need a little time to have a rest and charge my energy. 

After a month break, I was back to the track. I did what I have to do. I tried to make it as perfect as I could. I tried to be patient to face my lecturer. Then after months of work, I finally come to the end of the thesis, which is the defense. We used to call it sidang lisan. A funny yet annoying thing happened. One of the panelists asked me to correct my thesis, exactly like the first time I made it, before my lecturer told me to change it. Triple kill.

3 weeks later, I received my thesis score. It’s not the score I expect. It’s below my expectation. After all those things. After those kills. I’m dead. I was dead.

All I thought at that time was it’s not fair. This life is not fair. I worked my ass off and I didn’t get that score. It’s not only I failed my first dream, I even failed my expectation score! I couldn’t think any positive thing at that time.

Not long after that, I read Filosofi Teras. A book about stoicism. It say that some things are up to us, some things are not up to us. We can’t control everything. And those things are not supposed to bother our happiness. As long as we did our best on the things we can control, we should be happy. It’s the process, not the result. 

My thesis score is based on my lecturer; is she happy with my thesis, is she in a good mood and so on. Those things are not up to me. I can’t control them. It means my score isn’t supposed to make me sad. I should not be disappointed by my score. Because I know I already tried my best. I already worked hard. I paid attention on details. And that should be enough to make me happy. As I already did the process as perfect as I could. I should be happy no matter what my score will be.

That was a meaningful lesson to me. Some things are up to us. Work your best on them. Some things are not up to us. And that’s okay. That’s called life.

A Letter to Someone

Dear you,

This is the second draft I make

Still my mind travels

And memories come up

No matter how many draft I write

We used to be so closed back then

The fourth of us

An unexpected friendship I got

From high school

We’re having many talks

From the unimportant one to the important and deep one

We’re having each others’ back

As we care about each other

Little did I know our words hurt you

As we ask you to reduce alcohol 

To stop smoking

To be a good man

But one thing I can assure you

It’s not because we don’t want you as you

It’s because we don’t want you to lost the track

And somehow be apart from us

We didn’t realize we care too much about you

Too much that we unconsciously made you uncomfortable

There’s a time where you were busy with your own world

And they wondered why you forget us

That’s when my heart broken

To see us separated

By this letter,

I’d like to say a little thing

That has been in my head

For a long time

I’m sorry for asking you too much

I’m sorry for wanting you quitting many things

I’m sorry for being annoying 

One day

If you eventually want to tell us more of your life-

just like the old days-

We are all ears 

Write about Today

I’m writing this on Tuesday October, 13th 2020. Basically there’s nothing special today. I woke up at 8 and cooked oatmeal for my breakfast. Then I drank the honey and water. After that I prepare the banana on the bowl. After the oatmeal cooked, I put it in the bowl and ate it as I scrolled my Instagram. At 9 my mom and I cooked sweet compote made of banana and cassava stewed in coconut milk and brown sugar. Or in Indonesia we call it kolak.

We finished cooking at 10. After that we cleaned the house and took a shower. I used my face sunscreen and put on some lotions on my body. And I read the bible while waiting for luch time. Then at 12 we had our lunch, which were tempeh and tofu with some veggies and rice of course. I’m on the plant based diet, so my food will always be like that.

After lunch, I scrolled my social media (again). Omg I guess I spent too much time on social media. Actually, it’s time for me to open my laptop after lunch. I should’ve do something according to my daily schedule (yup I made a daily schedule, complete with the exact time). But I was so sleepy and I fell asleep. Hhh...

I woke up at 15.30 and I opened my laptop to do something. I usually having my laptop time in the back terrace of of house. It feels like I am in a different place. A little way to make my mind refresh at home.

We have a coffee time routine here in my home. On 16.30 everyday, we have our coffee or juice, with some snacks. Since we made kolak in the morning, so it was a kolak time. It’s our time to talk to each other, beside on lunch and dinner time. Hmm but actually we always talk to each other all the time...

Then I took a shower at 18.00. And I did my skin routine; cleaning my face with micellar water, putting some lotion on my body and so on. I do this routine as I listen to a podcast or some songs. It was a podcast today. Rapot Podcast for the win.

Right after I finished it, I open the notes in my phone. And I started to think about the topic of today’s writing challenge. As soon as I find the concept, I write it on the notes. I find it more comfortable to write in my phone rather than on my laptop. It’s easier and more relaxing.

After I finish writing, I directly post it on my blog. Then I post it on the social media of my writing too. It’s @tulisanlau on Instagram. Kindly follow it, okay? Xoxo

If I had more time, I usually spend it by reading a book. It depends on my mood. Usually it’s a self improvement one. I currently am reading 101 Essays that Will Change The Way You Thing. It’s really good, I promise! But if I don’t feel good, I read a romance novel. Then I have my sleep on 22 o’clock. Or 23 o’clock.

That’s it. That’s what happened in my life today. Well, that’s more like I’m telling you my daily life routine. But hope you enjoy it xo