Write about A Lesson You’ve Learned; Some Things Are Not Up To Us

These past months have taught me that no matter how hard we try, there’s always something we can’t control. It’s a truth to be told.

I was planning to finish my study earlier. It’s always been my dream to graduate before the fourth year. I worked so hard and tried my best on my thesis. I wrote it as fast as I could, hoping my lecturer will correct it as soon as possible. Turned out she did the correction as late as possible:) I waited for about 3 weeks. Oh, and she changed her mind. She asked me to do the first until the third chapter. But when she finally correct my work, she returned the second and third chapters. She said I should’ve do only the first chapter. She asked me to give her the chapter one by one. I really lost much time. I spent a lot of time making the proposal as she asked me in our first meeting. I lost my time waiting her correction. Double kill.

Long story short, I failed to graduate in January. A hard slaps on my face. I failed my first dream. I need one month to recover from my stress. I need a little time to have a rest and charge my energy. 

After a month break, I was back to the track. I did what I have to do. I tried to make it as perfect as I could. I tried to be patient to face my lecturer. Then after months of work, I finally come to the end of the thesis, which is the defense. We used to call it sidang lisan. A funny yet annoying thing happened. One of the panelists asked me to correct my thesis, exactly like the first time I made it, before my lecturer told me to change it. Triple kill.

3 weeks later, I received my thesis score. It’s not the score I expect. It’s below my expectation. After all those things. After those kills. I’m dead. I was dead.

All I thought at that time was it’s not fair. This life is not fair. I worked my ass off and I didn’t get that score. It’s not only I failed my first dream, I even failed my expectation score! I couldn’t think any positive thing at that time.

Not long after that, I read Filosofi Teras. A book about stoicism. It say that some things are up to us, some things are not up to us. We can’t control everything. And those things are not supposed to bother our happiness. As long as we did our best on the things we can control, we should be happy. It’s the process, not the result. 

My thesis score is based on my lecturer; is she happy with my thesis, is she in a good mood and so on. Those things are not up to me. I can’t control them. It means my score isn’t supposed to make me sad. I should not be disappointed by my score. Because I know I already tried my best. I already worked hard. I paid attention on details. And that should be enough to make me happy. As I already did the process as perfect as I could. I should be happy no matter what my score will be.

That was a meaningful lesson to me. Some things are up to us. Work your best on them. Some things are not up to us. And that’s okay. That’s called life.

A Letter to Someone

Dear you,

This is the second draft I make

Still my mind travels

And memories come up

No matter how many draft I write

We used to be so closed back then

The fourth of us

An unexpected friendship I got

From high school

We’re having many talks

From the unimportant one to the important and deep one

We’re having each others’ back

As we care about each other

Little did I know our words hurt you

As we ask you to reduce alcohol 

To stop smoking

To be a good man

But one thing I can assure you

It’s not because we don’t want you as you

It’s because we don’t want you to lost the track

And somehow be apart from us

We didn’t realize we care too much about you

Too much that we unconsciously made you uncomfortable

There’s a time where you were busy with your own world

And they wondered why you forget us

That’s when my heart broken

To see us separated

By this letter,

I’d like to say a little thing

That has been in my head

For a long time

I’m sorry for asking you too much

I’m sorry for wanting you quitting many things

I’m sorry for being annoying 

One day

If you eventually want to tell us more of your life-

just like the old days-

We are all ears 

Write about Today

I’m writing this on Tuesday October, 13th 2020. Basically there’s nothing special today. I woke up at 8 and cooked oatmeal for my breakfast. Then I drank the honey and water. After that I prepare the banana on the bowl. After the oatmeal cooked, I put it in the bowl and ate it as I scrolled my Instagram. At 9 my mom and I cooked sweet compote made of banana and cassava stewed in coconut milk and brown sugar. Or in Indonesia we call it kolak.

We finished cooking at 10. After that we cleaned the house and took a shower. I used my face sunscreen and put on some lotions on my body. And I read the bible while waiting for luch time. Then at 12 we had our lunch, which were tempeh and tofu with some veggies and rice of course. I’m on the plant based diet, so my food will always be like that.

After lunch, I scrolled my social media (again). Omg I guess I spent too much time on social media. Actually, it’s time for me to open my laptop after lunch. I should’ve do something according to my daily schedule (yup I made a daily schedule, complete with the exact time). But I was so sleepy and I fell asleep. Hhh...

I woke up at 15.30 and I opened my laptop to do something. I usually having my laptop time in the back terrace of of house. It feels like I am in a different place. A little way to make my mind refresh at home.

We have a coffee time routine here in my home. On 16.30 everyday, we have our coffee or juice, with some snacks. Since we made kolak in the morning, so it was a kolak time. It’s our time to talk to each other, beside on lunch and dinner time. Hmm but actually we always talk to each other all the time...

Then I took a shower at 18.00. And I did my skin routine; cleaning my face with micellar water, putting some lotion on my body and so on. I do this routine as I listen to a podcast or some songs. It was a podcast today. Rapot Podcast for the win.

Right after I finished it, I open the notes in my phone. And I started to think about the topic of today’s writing challenge. As soon as I find the concept, I write it on the notes. I find it more comfortable to write in my phone rather than on my laptop. It’s easier and more relaxing.

After I finish writing, I directly post it on my blog. Then I post it on the social media of my writing too. It’s @tulisanlau on Instagram. Kindly follow it, okay? Xoxo

If I had more time, I usually spend it by reading a book. It depends on my mood. Usually it’s a self improvement one. I currently am reading 101 Essays that Will Change The Way You Thing. It’s really good, I promise! But if I don’t feel good, I read a romance novel. Then I have my sleep on 22 o’clock. Or 23 o’clock.

That’s it. That’s what happened in my life today. Well, that’s more like I’m telling you my daily life routine. But hope you enjoy it xo

LOVE

Love. One word full of meaning. It can be found in many things. Well, to me, love means taking care of the person, supporting them, being there for them and having their back. 

When you do something to make them happy, it is love. When you push them to achieve their dreams, it is love. When you give you time to be with them, it is love. When you accept them just the ways they are, it is love.

When I saw my dad bringing a flip-flops for my mom so she can change her high heels, I know it’s love. When I saw my dad giving an umbrella to my mom so she won’t have a headache because of the sun, I know it’s love. When my dad texting me “please take care of your mom”, I know it’s love.

When I saw my mom cooking every morning and packing my dad’s lunch, I know it’s love. When I saw my mom waiting my dad to come home from work, I know it’s love.

There are many ways to express love. People have their own way. It could be by their words or by their action. Open your eyes. There must be love around you. It’s just you that didn’t realize. 

My Celebrity Crush

Daniel Timothy Wenas, a basketball player. I knew him from my friend when I was in high school. We were talking about some athletes and on of my friend sent DW’s photo. Surprisingly, he’s my bestfriend’s distant cousin! I thought she was joking at first. It turned out she’s not.

He is handsome, tall, toned. He has many achievements. Well, are those enough to be the reason to have a crush on him?

Last year I got a chance to meet him. He was having a talkshow in one of sport store in Galaxy Mall. I knew the event from his instastory several days before the day. The event was two days in a row. 

Then, my friend and I went to Galaxy Mall after church, which is the second day of the event. As We walked to the food corner, I saw that sport store was full of people. I saw him from a far. I was a little amazed because he is really handsome! But I can’t get closer because it was too full.

After my friend and I had our lunch, we went back to the sport store, hoping the crowd a little bit lessen. Turned out, the event was already done. I was a little disappointed.

Then we chose to go window shopping. When we were on the escalator, I saw DW on the escalator two floor below my escalator. Guess what I did! Right, I ran after him! He stopped in the Starbucks. I was hesitate whether to ask him for a photo or not. But I thought he already saw us. With all my braveness, I walked to him, and ask for a photo together. I said “Hi, kak Daniel. Boleh minta foto nggak?” And he said yes. And we took a photo together. And done. I thank him after that. And I walked away from him.

After about 5 meters away, I jumped and laughed. I was so so happy! He was my crush for more than 3 years. And finally I had a chance to take a photo with him. Well, for other people it’s not a big deal. But that trivial thing could make me really happy! I won’t let you see the picture just because xixi

My First Love

If I may defined, the first love of mine is the first person who can cross the wall I made for years. He is possibly not breaking it. He finds a little door there and knock it until I finally am ready to open it by all means.

He is the first person I put my trust to hold my heart. The first person that is able to be closer to me than anyone else. The first person I introduce to my friends. The first person I date.

Perhaps, that’s what I could imagine about first love. There’s not much I could talk about. It is something I have always wondered. The person. The time. The feeling.

30 Facts About Me

This is my first time doing this. Leggo!

1. My full name is Laura Shinta Vitha.
2. My junior high school friends call me Lala.
3. I was born on May, 8th 1999.
4. I am a Taurean. My moon sign is Aquarius. Yes I still am into astrology.
5. I’m the first daughter in my family.
6. I’m a Bataknese. Napitupulu it is.
7. Single and ready to mingle lol
8. My favorite number is 8.
9. I am a sweet tooth.
10. I love chocolate a lot.
11. I love love love love ice cream.
12. I could eat pizza every once in a week.
13. Spicy food is also my thing.
14. I am a perfectionist (my friend told me so). I pay attention to details and I try to things as perfect as I could.
15. I was a Communication Studies student.
16. I went to acceleration class in junior high school.
17. I’m not an animal person. I don’t hate animals, but I definitely don’t love them.
18. I had my first solo flight when I was 17th.
19. I love coloring my nails since I was in elementary school. I did my nails every long holidays.
20. I love reading so much. Magazines were my friend to spend holidays when I was a kid.
21. I am into self-development books right now. Just giving you a hint if you want to give me a gift.
22. I am one of the author of The Voice of Youth. 
23. I’m on plant based diet now. It’s been 23 days.
24. Before I go plant based, I drank milk at least one glass a day.
25. I forget the exact time I tried my first cup of coffee. But coffee became my stress reliever ever since.
26. I love beaches.
27. Christmas is my most favorite time.
28. I have a sensitive skin. Just like my heart. Joke:)
29. Confidence is a problem to me. But it gets better as I grow up.
30. I have a dream to spend some days in Amanjiwo. Enjoying the quite place. Having some relaxing days. Reading books. Watching the night skies.

One Last Cry

A song can fit your mood. A song also can make your mood. For me, a song has a power to remain me of someone. Usually that person has a place in my heart. 

Once upon a time, I met someone. A man with a perfect manner and an open mind. He has like everything but I saw no superior in the way he talked. He treated people well. He helped the waitress to clean our table. He said thank you to the parking man. He has all the list in my head. He also has my heart. But we are not meant to be together and he has his own life somewhere now.

One Last Cry by Brian McKnight. I saw a video of him singing this song and on that time, I surely fell for him. He got all my heart. Until now, One Last Cry still be a song that remain me of him. But, it’s not only because of that video I saw. It’s also because of the lyrics fits me so well. 

I saw him, not holding hands, but standing close to someone else. I sit all alone and wishing all my feeling was gone. I really had nothing to do. I only let myself to had my one last cry, before I leave it all behind.

My Favorite Movie

 I’m not a movie person. There are only few movies I have ever watched. A movie can affect my mood. So, when I watch a movie, it has to be a happy ending one. Most of those movies I watched are romance. It’s pretty hard for me to choose my favorite movie. But I have one movie that stole my heart. I even rewatch it until 3 times.

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. It’s basically a series that based on a novel. It’s a story about a girl named Lara Jean that loves to write love letters to her crushes but she never send them. She keeps them all on a secret box. Then, her little sister finds them and send them all. It’s the beginning of all the problem. But luckily it leads Lara Jean to her first love, Peter Kavinsky. Their relationship is full of drama that slowly makes them fall in love even more.

This movie is not a legendary one. But it stole my heart. How Peter treats Lara Jean, how he respects her value in life, even how he treats Lara Jean’s little sister. He is a gentleman and I fall for him! I love everything about him, really.

This movie is entertaining enough for me. It is a good movie to watch when you are bored in your free time or when you are not in a good mood. But be careful. You might fall in love with Peter, just like me.

Actually, there are many good quotes from the novels. But they don’t make it on the movie. So, here’s my favorite quote from To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before 2.

“I know now that I don’t want to love or be loved in half measures. I want it all, and to have it all, you have to risk it all” - Lara Jean

Single and Happy

It’s interesting to talk about being single and happy. Too interesting until I hardly choose what to talk about. All right, I guess I’ll just my experience about how to be a happy single lady! Where’s my single sis at?!

Who says being single sucks? It’s not. The only thing that make it sucks is your mind. As Epictetus said “It’s bot things that trouble us, but our judgement about things.” You keep thinking that being single is pathetic. I admit that there are some days I feel lonely and wish I were in a relationship. But as the time goes by, I realize I could be single and still happy.

Being surrounded by loving friends make me a little bit forget that I’m single. I could spend as much time as I want to be with them. Doing all the fun things (in a good way), going to places and enjoying life. When I have something in my mind and need someone to talk to, I’ll call one of my friend then talk for hours.

So, what if all of my friends are busy with their life? I’ll spend my time for myself only. People call it “me-time”. I will make my coffee, open my laptop, set my bed and binge watch youtube video all day long. Or I will prepare some snacks and read any book. Or I will take my make up and put them on my face while sing along with my playlist. Or I will simply scroll down my Instagram. 

When I see a couple, do I envy them? Sometimes yes. It’s when I see my perfect kind of relationship. Do I want to be in a relationship? Of course, yes. But I’m not that tipe of people that will do any thing to get a man. I will not degrade my standards. It’s not my class. Sorry not sorry.

Are you happy? I am. I am a single woman and I can loudly say I’m happy. After all the things I passed in my life, I see that happiness doesn’t depend on your status. Whether you are a single person or you are in a relationship, you can be happy. Happiness is a choice. You do you. It’s all in your mind. If you want to find your way to be happy, then you will. It’s that simple.

So, for all of you single ladies, go dress up, wear your make up, go to the place you want to, do whatever you want to do as long as it is good for you. Live your life and be happy!

My Parents

 Talking about my parents, first of all, I am truly thankful for them. They are truly the bestest (if it’s a word) for me. I can say that I’m everything I am because of them.

My dad is the most hardworking person I ever know. He takes all his responsibility at work really serious. 

For me, he is a hero. He drops me to school everyday. He accompanies us when my mom, my sist and I go shopping. When my mom, my sister and I had to buy something. He literally be there and stays with us no matter how many mall we have to go. Yes, we are that kind of girl that can go from one mall to another and end up go to all the malls. Never I heard my dad says he is tired. I need to find a man like him, indeed.

When I was little, I really love weekend. I still remember when we used to go to Samarinda on weekend. Well, it’s like 3 hours from Balikpapan. My dad drove the car all the way and back. My dad also brought us to some zoos and beaches. We spend almost every weekend by going to the beach. Playing by the sea or cycling or as simple as enjoying the beach with some coconut. That’s why I love beach.

My mom is my role model. She is a woman I want to be. An independent, smart and kind woman. She thought me to be a kindhearted person. She always says that we have to be good to all people. She also can do almost everything. 

She is my first teacher ever. She still help me studying until I was in junior high school. She has a good style. I often borrow her clothes because our body size is look alike. She is the chef in our home. She mostly can cook everything.

My parents are not that kind of possessive parent. They give me freedom. But before I can have that, they already teach me all the basic things. 

I love them. With all my heart. They mean the whole world to me. They are the reason why I go this far. To make them happy is my biggest dream. I will give them all things I could. As they already give me all the things they could. 

Places I Want to Visit

It’s a little bit hard for me to talk about places i want to visit. It’s like talking about my dreams specifically, which is a personal thing for me. But never mind, I’ll let you know some.

Once upon a time, I was scrolling down my Instagram. There was a picture that stopped me. Aurora. Captured beautifully. I still remember it was a picture from Om Eja (@rezaphlv). I read the caption and found that it is a picture of a night sky in Iceland. Fyi, I am obsessed with night sky, moon and stars (well, my bestfriends know it exactly). Since I saw that picture, Iceland became a place i really want to visit one day. 

Next, Japan. I fall in love with Japan’s blue clear sky. Of course I never been there before. I saw that on Arief Muhammad’s vlog and on some influencers’ instastories. Japan will always be in my bucket list.

I still have so many places I really want to visit. Maldives with all the beautiful sea, New Zealand with the hot air balloon , Paris with the beautiful Eiffel Tower and many more.

Well, I know you also have many place you always dream about, don’t you? Wherever it is, from the deepest of my heart, I pray that you will get there some day. No matter how far it is, keep dreaming, until life bring you there, someday.

—

Well, this is a hard decision for me. It’s like I want to tell you the secret of my life, because it is. This is sooo personal. But, let’s make it as a prayer, shall we? Well, the first place in my bucket list is Jerusalem. No, it’s not because that I’m a religious person. Definitely not. Well, when I was in an elementary school (or kindergarten? Sorry, I can’t remember the exact time), I watched a TV program with my dad. I’m not sure what kind of program it is. Again, I forget, sorry. I only remember that it showed a place called Jerusalem. My dad said “one day when you are big enough, invite me to go there with you, okay?”. No no, my dad talked in Indonesia. But let me keep it to myself. I promise I’ll tell you guys someday, when my family and I get there. Since then, Jerusalem is always be in my dream and my prayer. Worry not. Like I wrote on my writing 3 days ago, I am a dreamer with plan. You guys will see me catch my dream and be there one day. And on that day, I will come to this page again, and I will say “You get your first dream, go on, let’s check another list!” Can I get an amen for this? Hehe.

A Memory

When I was a student of a university, I spent most of my time in my room. I watched TV, sang out loud, binge reading (is it a word??), and many more. But one thing I love the most is spending time with my bestfriends. We watched Asian Games. We killed time and waited for the next class. We did our homework. We spent all night long and had deep talks. We laughed together in my room.

I never even think it is a special thing to spend time in a bedroom with some friends. Then this pandemic happens. All those things I mention before suddenly gone. This is the fifth months and I still can’t meet my friend. 

They say we will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. Well, now I understand It. A moment where time run so fast. A moment I miss the most. A moment I can’t have right now.

Laughing with my friends in my small room.

A thing that now become a memory.

A thing I will never take for granted after we pass this hard time.

Things to Make Me Happy

 I can be happy over many things. Here are some of them. First, an ice cream. For me personally, an ice cream works like magic. When I am in a bad mood, feel sad over things I don’t know and on my period, ice cream fix it all! Whenever I buy an ice cream-well, the chocolate one is a plus- I will be instantly happy. Just like a little kid is happy when someone give her a candy.

I also love coffee. When I had much work to do. When I want to take some rest and watch something. When I feel stressed. When I want to enjoy the sunset. When I have a free time in the afternoon. A cup of coffee is a perfect friend.

And a book. I enjoy reading more than watching. When I read a book, I sink in to the words and forget my life for a moment. I always want to spend a day in a beach and read a book.

Well..

Having an ice cream while reading a book with the sound of dancing waves.

Spending an afternoon by sipping a cup of hot coffee with favorite music on.

Happy.

Describing Myself

 Well, i never think it is that hard to describe myself. So here we go.

Little Laura was like a rabbit. I was scared of mostly everything. I hate to go anywhere alone. I hate to meet new people. I hate to be in a new circumstance. Simply because I was too scared. I didn’t have any braveness at all. But then, life push me to my limit. I was forced to be brave to do everything. I had to go to a new place alone. I had to meet new people. I had to do many things with brave because I didn’t have any other choice. I had to do it. All alone. All by myself.

All things in my life made me try my best to do all my work alone. No matter how hard it is, as long as I could make it by myself, I will do it alone. Sometimes I seemed to be upset for no reason. But, the reason mostly because I was facing a problem and I was trying to work it out.

Last but not least, I am a dreamer. I have literally so many dreams. From the very little one to the big one. But, I also make a plan to achieve them one by one. I have my plan for the next year, for the next 3 years and so on. Yes, I am a dreamer and I make plan to catch it.

Now, it's your turn to describe yourself!